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As I've mentioned before, and more than once, the real reason I pick on Hal Jordan so much is to try to mask and defuse my utter terror
of him.
For Hal Jordan wields the most powerful, the most terrifying weapon in the entire DC Universe:
THE EYES OF HAL JORDAN
The Fourth Wall means nothing to Hal Jordan.
You see, he knows you're watching him.
And, it's okay, because...
because he likes to be watched.
And -- although it's best if you don't think about it -- it works both ways.
Yes. Hal Jordan is watching you, too.
Though he tries to convince you he can't really see you...
When he turns his transquartomuralistic vision on you the reader, it sucks your soul out of your eyes.
Your soul is a mere power battery on which he charges his spent and empty sense of self-worth.
"In brightest day,
in blackest night,
no reader shall escape my sight
let those who worship Marvel's might
beware my eyes,
both left
and right!"
Every year at the annual Klordny party, Hal used to slay the entire Corps with his dead-on impersonation of Tomar-Re.And Hal loves to slay the entire Corps!
"Great Guardians! From either angle..
...I'm just as beautiful!"
In this panel, Hal tries to blame last night's debauchery...
on poor Liberace.
"My GOD, my thumb is beautiful!"
"And to think...they gave Flash a museum...!"
"Now, Hal, using the doll...show the court where Flash touched you."
"Highball" Jordan? No, no...
"Eyeball" Jordan.
"Let's see what was it I had to do before leaving town. Oh yes, now I remember..."
"Kill and eat my neighbor, Mr. Johnson!"
"Did you know that my power ring can make you forget anything I do to you, Sally P? Even when it involves energy-construct aardvarks, like it did last week?"
He only makes it look easy. He actually has a daily routine of Extreme Eyercise to keep his peepers perfectly poppable.
Ladies and gentlemen, the Eyes of Hal Jordan!
Labels: Hal Jordan, the Eyes of Hal Jordan