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Showing posts with label the Eyes of Hal Jordan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the Eyes of Hal Jordan. Show all posts
I don't care what the weather man says,
When the weatherman says it's raining,
You'll never hear me complaining,
I'm certain the sun will shine,
I don't care how the weather vane points,
When the weather vane points to gloomy,
It's gotta be sunny to me, when your eyes look into mine;
oh
Jeepers Creepers!
Where'd ya get those peepers?
Jeepers Creepers!
Where'd ya get those eyes?
Gosh all git up! How'd they get so lit up?
Gosh all git up! How'd they get that size?
Golly gee! When you turn those heaters on,
Woe is me! Got to get my cheaters on,
Jeepers Creepers!
Where'd ya get those peepers?
Oh! Those weepers!
How they hypnotize!
Where'd ya get those eyes?
As I've mentioned before, and more than once, the real reason I pick on Hal Jordan so much is to try to mask and defuse my utter terror
of him.
For Hal Jordan wields the most powerful, the most terrifying weapon in the entire DC Universe:
THE EYES OF HAL JORDAN
The Fourth Wall means nothing to Hal Jordan.
You see, he knows you're watching him.
And, it's okay, because...
because he likes to be watched.
And -- although it's best if you don't think about it -- it works both ways.
Yes. 
Hal Jordan is watching you, too.
Though he tries to convince you he can't really see you...
When he turns his transquartomuralistic vision on you the reader, it sucks your soul out of your eyes.
Your soul is a mere power battery on which he charges his spent and empty sense of self-worth.
"In brightest day,
in blackest night,
no reader shall escape my sight
let those who worship Marvel's might
beware my eyes,
both left
and right!"
Every year at the annual Klordny party, Hal used to slay the entire Corps with his dead-on impersonation of Tomar-Re.
And Hal loves to slay the entire Corps!"Great Guardians! From either angle..
...I'm just as beautiful!"In this panel, Hal tries to blame last night's debauchery...
on poor Liberace.
"My GOD, my thumb is beautiful!""And to think...
they gave Flash a museum...!""Now, Hal, using the doll...
show the court where Flash touched you.""Highball" Jordan? No, no...
"Eyeball" Jordan.
"Let's see what was it I had to do before leaving town. Oh yes, now I remember..."
"Kill and eat my neighbor, Mr. Johnson!"
"Did you know that my power ring can make you forget anything I do to you, Sally P? Even when it involves energy-construct aardvarks, like it did last week?"
He only makes it look easy. He actually has a daily routine of Extreme Eyercise to keep his peepers perfectly poppable.Ladies and gentlemen, the Eyes of Hal Jordan!
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