Just Stay at Home

If you're new to Barry Allen, you may not know that he was famous for finding himself in strange situations... strange even for a DC superhero in the Silver Age.

But even in the strangest of situations, Barry seldom lost his composure, and faced his role as a lightning rod for Silver Age lunacy with remarkable acceptance and equanimity. A perfect example is one of his most famous quotes:

"I've got the strangest feeling I'm being turned into a puppet."
Yes, Barry; that is certainly one of the strangest feelings. But there are others...


"I've got the strangest feeling...I'm being characterized as an enormous geek."

He works in a lab. He talks to himself. About comics books. While drinking milk. With a straw. All this you know before you even see him. What more could they do, put him in a bow-tie?


"I've got the strangest feeling...
I'm under attack from surrealism in comics."

The second you let down your guard, BANG! You're the center of a paranoid delusion about inanimate objects, specifically, the traveling staircases from many a surrealist joke book ("A traveling staircase goes into a bar, and when the watch melted, the chicken died.")


"I've got the strangest feeling...Zahi Hawass is going to kick my ass."

I sure hope Barry has Josh Bernstein's number; now, that's a Brave & the Bold issue I want to see!


"I've got the strangest feeling...
I'm in a Katsushika Hokusai painting."

Now, that is one classy swipe.


"I've got the strangest feeling...
I should be wearing a red handkerchief in my back pocket."

Who knew that Barry had given the FFA (um... that's...Flash Fans of America, for you kiddies) its slogan, "If you can't fit a keyhole, make it fit you"?