Just Stay at Home

As most of you know, I'm Catholic. Mostly, anyway. Saint Dumas be praised!

Anyway, I'm Catholic, Doctor Polaris only believes in magnetism, and Diamondrock is real private about his beliefs. That leaves me as the only person willing or able to talk much about the fact that today is Easter.

You probably know that Easter is all about the Resurrection of Jesus Christ. That, of course, is a pretty big deal. Or at least it was. Sometimes I wonder if the wonder of Easter still matters in our world.

After all, Brightest Day began with a resurrection of the good and the evil. Green Lantern and the Flash returned from the dead. And of course there's Superman... I don't know of anyone else with as much Christian symbolism floating around him.

I guess I'm wondering if Easter is still important in our [DC] Universe. When Green Arrow can come back from the dead what does that mean for something that is hailed as a unique turning point in human history?

I guess in the end it comes down to faith. Even in a world where so many strange and terrible things happen I have to try and hold on to what I believe in. And I still believe in the Easter story, despite everything I've been through. I still believe that there is a seed of something special in the Death and Resurrection of Jesus of Nazareth.

I can't explain it and I certainly am not going to convince anyone else. But at the very least it gives me comfort. I've done some bad things in my life. And I'd like to think that even a sinner like me can get a second chance.

More than anything, I think I'd like to be on TV.

I'm not looking for my own show or anything like that. I'd just like to gueststar in one of Warner Bros' animated DC series. Or they could do a Knightfall direct to DVD movie. That would be okay.

Of course, that last one is pretty unlikely (even if it's no stranger than a Under the Hood movie). So I think I'd just like to be on Batman: The Brave and the Bold. We could have a whole episode where You-Know-Who and I team up against Bane or somebody.

Or they could just put me in the pre-credits opening in a non-speaking role. I'm not picky. Either or anything would be okay, really. I'd just like to be on TV. I mean, how many times has Bane been on TV anyway? And this will what, be his second big screen appearance. It's not like I'm asking to be in Dark Knight Rises.

It just doesn't seem fair that Bane -- a guy I beat gets to be in an ongoing series and a movie while I don't get to do anything at all.

Does it bother anyone else that Bane has been remade into a nuanced, intriguing character while I languish in the obscurity of death?

No? Nobody? Okay, never mind then.

Do you think there are two many books starring You-Know-Who and his merry band of bats? I think we've reached the two digit mark here. And know that I'm not counting my successor's soon to be canceled book.

I know that these books sell. They must sell, or there wouldn't be so many of them. But do they really sell that well? Do they sell so good that we need two or three books for each character? I mean, Dick Grayson is starring in three separate books right now. I mean, you think they could find a spot for me to cameo.

Sorry, I got off track there for a second. I guess what I'm really saying is that if popular characters can sustain multiple books where does that leave the rest of us? We know that Azrael will soon be gone. Will it be replaced with another Bat-book? I mean, you know who is only starring in two books right now...

As you all know, my successor's solo title Azrael has been cancelled as of #18. This was not a big surprise; I've been anticipating it for quite a while now. Still, there are a number of lessons that can be learned from this.

1. Stop Making Random Heroes Legacy Characters: What I mean is that the successor should have some sort of connection to the original character. I've never met Michael Lane. I've never heard of the "Order of Purity." Where's the Order of St. Dumas? Where is the vengeful spirit of St. Dumas himself? And where is the sketchy religious technobabble?

Without these vital connections a new character might as well be... A new character. And we know that new characters with not relation to established ones usually fail.

2. Don't Launch Random Ongoing Titles: DC and Marvel both have a problem with this. They launch a bunch of titles without testing the waters and almost seem surprised when they fail. Say what you will about my series, but at least I was around before they launched it. In fact, I was bouncing around the Batbooks for years before they gave me my own title.

Instead, try going the route they originally went with Birds of Prey. Launch a few miniseries. If the first few are successful then try another one. Eventually if you find the audience then you can try an ongoing.

3. Run Superstars: What I mean is that you should launch a big series with a superstar creator or two. You can't just throw anybody on the credits line and make it sell. Take Batman and Robin. Sure, it's You-Know-Who. But Grant Morrison helped a little bit. DC seems to be learning this lesson: they're got Frazer Irving doing the art for the XOMBI relaunch.

If publishers would take these to heart, then maybe tragedies like Azrael could be avoided.

And here I thought since there's a holiday this coming weekend there wouldn't be any comic news to talk about. Luckily, the March solicitations are out!

First of all: Azrael got cancelled. I think we all knew that was coming. I'm just surprised it took so long. I'm sure my co-blogger will have more to say about that later in the week. Now on with the show!

GREEN LANTERN: EMERALD WARRIORS #8
Written by PETER J. TOMASI
Art by FERNANDO PASARIN & CAM SMITH
Cover by FELIPE MASSAFERA
1:10 Variant cover by TYLER KIRKHAM & BATT
In “War of the Green Lanterns” part 3, it’s the main event! Guy Gardner vs. Hal Jordan – winner take all!
Retailers please note: This issue will ship with two covers. Please see the Previews Order Form for more information.
On sale MARCH 30 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

"War of the Green Lanterns," huh? I think I remember hearing about that, but DC doesn't seem to be pushing it the same way they did with Blackest Night and Brightest Day. I will say this, though: if anyone is going to win a war between the Green Lanterns of Earth it's going to be this Guy:

Hal Jordan doesn't stand a chance.

XOMBI #1
Written by JOHN ROZUM
Art and cover by FRAZER IRVING
1:10 Variant cover by BRENDAN MCCARTHY
You can’t keep a good XOMBI down! The immortal David Kim – kept “alive” by nanotech enhancements – returns to the DC Universe in a new ongoing series! Creator John Rozum and hot BATMAN AND ROBIN artist Frazer Irving team up to deliver the finest in contemporary urban horror – with a Super Hero twist! As an undying, unchanging Xombi, David Kim must watch the world consume itself and burn while humanity grows more distant from each other due to the rise of technology. What would a Xombi do just to feel change again? And where will he ever be able to find a kindred soul?
On sale MARCH 16 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

I've expressed my love of the previous XOMBI before. I can't say much more than that here. But I do want to urge everyone who has a few extra bucks to at least try XOMBI #1. I really don't want this book to be canceled early. I want it to get at least two years. Maybe more. Give it a shot!

BIRDS OF PREY #10
Written by GAIL SIMONE
Art by INAKI MIRANDA
Cover by STANLEY “ARTGERM” LAU
This is it! The astonishing conclusion to “The Death of Oracle,” featuring nearly everyone whose life has been touched by Oracle – villain and hero! How will the DCU operate without its premier infojock, and how will this event affect the Birds of Prey? All this, plus a fan-favorite operative works with the Birds for the first time ever!
On sale MARCH 9 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

Okay, a few things: what is Barbara wearing? Could the "fan-favorite" be one of my favorites? And what exactly is Gail Simone planning with this book? When Birds of Prey came back I expected it to be pretty similar to what came before. But it hasn't been. It's been different, in a good way. And if Cassandra Cain shows up? All the better.

ACTION COMICS #899
Written by PAUL CORNELL
Art by PETE WOODS
Cover by DAVID FINCH & BATT
Lex Luthor has left no stone unturned in his quest for the Black Lantern energy, but he’s not the only one searching for it – Brainiac wants the energy and the knowledge it offers all to himself. Trust us, this is gonna be the most vicious Luthor/Brainiac team-up ever. It all sets the stage for both a conclusion and a beginning in next month’s historic ACTION COMICS #900, featuring the return of you-know-who…
On sale MARCH 30 • 32 pg, FC $2.99 US

Is this the end for the greatest villain of them all? If this is the end of Lex Luthor's story in Action I'll be okay with that. But honestly? I want the April solicitations to offer up Lex Luthor #1 written by Paul Cornell. Make it happen, DC.

It's true that sometimes my memory isn't quite what it should be. Behavior modification and sleepless nights haunted by the spirit of a long dead pseudo-saint will do that to a person. But I still don't remember things going down quite like this.

Again, this could all be a lapse in my memory. But I don't remember burning up on the top of a building (I really think I'd remember that). I do seem to recall a climactic confrontation in the Batcave, culminating in the restoration of the Mantle of the Bat to the one, true Batman.

Still, it could be that it didn't happen that way. Things are a little fuzzy from my Batman time. And then there's the whole retroactive continuity thing thanks to the various Crises. Perhaps my origins have changed and I'm not really the descendant of a long line of avenging angels. Or maybe things are exactly the same and it's just my memory that has been doing the retcons.

My head hurts.

Good Lord... It's the DC December solicitations. That puts us only months away from the dawning of the terrifying year 2011. It sounds like the future, but it feels like... Now.

Anyway, solicitations! What looks good and what looks bad in the final month of 2010? Let's see, shall we?

AZRAEL #15
Written by DAVID HINE
Art by CLIFF RICHARDS
Cover by GUILLEM MARCH
The prophecy is fulfilled! Azrael has been found crucified, and a mystery swirls around his fate. It’s time for the world’s greatest detective to step in and figure out how this destiny came to pass. And how will this continue to play into the founding of Batman, Inc? Guest-starring The Dark Knight!
On sale DECEMBER 22 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

What the..? I know one of my co-bloggers has been exploring this issue, but really? This comic is still going on? It seems bizarre that a solo comic featuring a spin-off character from an event who is a legacy character of a replacement character could make it to fifteen issues. Is it selling really well or something? Only eight-six issues to go if they want to break the record...

KNIGHT & SQUIRE #3
Written by PAUL CORNELL
Art by JIMMY BROXTON
Cover by YANICK PAQUETTE & MICHAEL LACOMBE
Cyril and Beryl have the fight of their lives on their hands when Shakespeare’s most evil monarch, Richard III, returns! And he’s brought with him a cloned army of all the worst Kings of England, intent on taking back the country through the use of social networking! Yes, that’s the plot!
On sale DECEMBER 8 • 3 of 6 • 32 pg, FC $2.99 US

I may be one of those people who think Richard was actually innocent, but that doesn't mean I'm not looking forward to this story. Paul Cornell has been doing fantastic stuff with Lex Luthor over in Action, and I want to see how well his wacky DC Universe Britain stacks up with the second-hand information I've received from British friends...

ACTION COMICS ANNUAL #13
Written by PAUL CORNELL
Art by MARCO RUDY and ED BENES
Cover by ETHAN VAN SCIVER
While present-day Lex Luthor is busy fighting an array of the DCU's most vile foes over in ACTION COMICS, this annual takes a look back at two formative encounters Luthor had before he became the bald mad genius we know and love (to hate) today! Marco Rudy illustrates a story of young Lex and Darkseid, while Ed Benes tackles a tale starring Luthor and Batman foe Ra's al Ghul!
On sale DECEMBER 1 * 56 pg, FC $4.99 US

Speaking of Paul Cornell... This is going to be a hell of a lot of fun. I imagine in thirty-two scant pages Mr. Cornell will prove once again why Lex Luthor is the greatest villain in the DC Universe. Those other guys don't stand a chance...

JUSTICE SOCIETY OF AMERICA #46
Written by MARC GUGGENHEIM
Art by SCOTT KOLINS
Cover by SHANE DAVIS & SANDRA HOPE
With Monument Point still down after Scythe's devastating attack on U.S. soil, looting begins! Enter Collatoral Damage, a new team of villains set to lay claim to the riches yet to be found in the rubble of the once great American city! Luckily, there are new heroes flooding into the JSA's new hometown to help stabilize and rebuild alongside Earth's First Super Hero Team!
On sale DECEMBER 29 * 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

I'm intrigued by Marc Guggenheim's upcoming run on JSA. Some will say that taking the JSA away from New York is a bad idea. But I've always been a fan of the "Fictionopolis" model. You can't really build a city if you have to deal with the real thing. Here's hoping Monument Point will be a welcome -- and refreshing -- member of DC's league of cities.

That's all for tonight... What are you looking forward to at the close of this year?

I'm here to warn my successor: don't join Batman, Inc!

I can attest to the following: nothing good comes form being Batman when you aren't the original. Dick Grayson thinks he's okay for now, but this will come back to hurt him the same way it came back to hurt me.

I mean, look: before I became Batman I was a maladjusted, brainwashed super-assassin for a religious organization dedicated to the teachings of a phantom pseudo-saint (St. Dumas be praised!). Then I became Batman and everything when to heck. Who could have foreseen such a downward spiral?

Know that I don't want the same thing to happen to my successor. The new guy seems to have his share of problems -- a tormented past, encroaching madness, etc. But I fear that becoming a Batman could only make things worse.

Stay away from that cowl! It's a thankless job, and a death sentence besides...

Is anybody still reading my successor's books? I only ask because legacy heroes usually do some sort of callback to those that came before. This happens even if there isn't a direct connection (like with the most recent Blue Beetle).

But since I don't read the current Azrael book I don't really know what's going on. It could be that they've been talking about me nonstop for the last three months. Know that I am interested in this.

Unfortunately, I imagine most of you haven't really been following it either. Maybe you could ask your friends? Or their friends? Since it hasn't been canceled yet that means somebody is still reading it.

I wonder if the sales would spike if I showed up in the book. Would any of you out there pick it up if I showed? Or maybe I could guest write and issue or two. I think I'd enjoy that.

I know this isn't very Christian of me, but I feel a twinge of satisfaction in seeing that Magog has been canceled.

St. Dumas knows we've all be waiting for it. But I think for me it's just the fact that Magog has been canceled but my successor's Azrael series is still going on.

Now, like I said last time I have a hard time understanding how they're keeping it going. I'm not really sure who the audience for the book is. But I'm just happy to know that when readers want a brutal, violent vigilante with no respect for authority they're going to be forced to go the book with my name on the cover rather than one sporting a demon from the Revelation to St. John.

No offense to Magog, but he's not really my kind of hero. Sure, I like the beating and the blood and everything. But where's the fire? Where's the righteous recriminations? I mean, he doesn't really talk about how he's doing the work of the Lord. What's really driving that guy anyway?

I just don't think we'd get along. He'll probably be sticking around, but I'm just glad he won't have the chance to do it from the cover of his own comic. If you want an anti-hero who lops of people's limbs you're going to have to go to Azrael.

I'm going to be straight with all of you: I can't believe the current Azrael series hasn't been canceled yet.

It's not that Azrael is a bad book. Really, I have no idea if that's the case. It's just that books about lesser characters -- or unknown characters -- don't tend to last very long. Take the Red Circle launch, for instance. I can vouch for the fact that The Shield and The Web were both very good books. But where are those guys now?

Of course, this is coming from a guy who headlined his own series for one hundred issues. But those were different times. In this day and age a book has to have some serious star power (in either the writer, artist, or character department) to guarantee its long life.

Still, I'm hoping my poor, doomed successor has some success before the twisted shade of St. Dumas (his name be praised!) sends the new Azrael spinning into madness. Maybe a new writer will help!

Well, I'm alive again. Only St. Dumas knows why that's the case. But I suppose I'll make the most of it.

I know that they're back to having trouble over in Gotham City. With You-Know-Who still apparently "dead" a whole new crop of Morrisonian villains have shown their faces. Old Dick Grayson and that annoying new kid can't seem to keep up with it.

At least that's my way of looking at things. You know what else I guessed (long before the new Robin)? I guessed that that "Oberon Sexton" guy might actually be You-Know-Who. But then, it doesn't take the "World's Greatest Detective" to put those pieces together.

Anyway, know that I'm going to try and get back into the vigilante business soon. As good as Dick is at stepping into You-Know-Who's shoes I sometimes think he's not willing to just thrash the bad guys within an inch of their lives (something they need from time to time). That's at least one thing the new kid and I have in common...

RRARRR, Black Lantern Azrael here again with some seriously good news for all my fans. In the same way that I and the other forgotten heroes of the DCU have risen from our graves, WizKids' HeroClix game also seems to have been reborn.

Why does this matter? RRARRR! I'll tell you. I only got one HeroClix to represent me, while guys like Hawkman, Booster Gold, and Aquaman got two or more. What are the chances that we'll be seeing HeroClix representing the legions of Black Lanterns? Pretty good, no? And don't you think they're likely to include most of the Lanterns who got lines in the mini-series?

Black Lanterns like me. Don't deny it: when you see those new Azrael HeroClix you'll be feeling avarice. RRARRR!

RRARRR!

Black Lantern Azrael back again. And for the record? I hate you all. Please tell me that elicits some rage.

Anyway, it seems they're doing a whole story about Batman's stupid corpse. Why wasn't there a story about my corpse? I don't even know how I ended up dead anyway. They didn't find my body. It's obvious I was alive.

RRARRR! Are you feeling some compassion for my pitiful plight? No? No rage or compassion, huh? Definitely no love here either... I can't think of any reason for avarice. And there's nothing here to hope for. I suppose my only hope is to elicit...

RRARRR!

Please tell me that got some fear out of some of you. No? Dang... I'm not very good at this...

RRARRR! Black Lantern Azrael here to talk about the solicitations for March. Did you jerks notice that they mentioned my old employer the Order of St. Dumas? What do you think that means?

I don't care what you think. Know that I think it means they might actually mention me. They'd better, or I'm going to march right up and tear out Michael Lane's heart. Of course, I'm probably going to try and do that anyway. RRARRRR!

Where's the Azrael/Blackest Night crossover, huh? Stupid new Azrael probably can't carry a book for too long without some sort of big name crossover. Give me the chance to fight my replacement. I've earned that much, haven't I? RRARRR!

RRARRRR! That jerk Doctor Polaris might not want to be a Black Lantern, but I like it. Do you think I'd ever have the guts to call him a jerk otherwise?

Being a Black Lantern really frees you up to say what you think. I'm not going to take any more crap from Doctor Polaris or anybody else. Especially not "Batman." I'm going to get you, Dick Grayson. I'm going to pay you back for never trusting me when I was trying to help protect your pathetic city.

I'm going to find Tim Drake, too. He was almost as bad. And you know what? I never met Damien but I think I'll probably want to rip out his heart too. RRARRR!

How do you like the new Black Lantern Azrael, huh? Do I make you angry? Good.

RRARRRR!

Are you scared yet? You should be. This is Black Lantern Azrael coming to you from the remains of Gotham City. Yeah, that's right. I've been tearing this place up. Sure, I tried to protect this hell hole for years. But you know what? Nobody appreciated me! They didn't deserve me.

I sacrificed and gave my all to save this wretched city and eventually I got killed for it. Did I get a monument? Did anyone remember me? No. Nobody remembered Azrael. I shouldn't have wasted my time. You didn't deserve a savior like me. You didn't deserve Azrael.

Also, RRARRRR!

I think it's safe to say that Blackest Night #4 was my favorite comic of the entire year. If you've read it, I probably don't have to tell you about the two incredibly awesome pages that were right next to each other. It's as if Geoff Johns has been reading this blog and decided to write those pages just for me.

Have you been reading this blog, Geoff? Did you write those pages just for me?

Well, he probably hasn't and didn't. But they sure as hell made me happy just the same. I started laughing with a combination of giddiness and maniacalness when I read those two pages. They were awesome.

And I'm sure I won't be the only one who has something to say about them in the days to come...

Well, the new Azrael series starts tomorrow. I'm still having trouble coming to terms with this. I know that I should be over the whole thing, but...

It gets kind of difficult when they start mentioning me in the previews. It makes me want to keep watching to see if they say anything else. I know the writer said we wouldn't be seeing or hearing from me... But how much do you want to bet that they'll do a Blackest Night tie in to try and increase what will probably be really low sales? And who do you think will be the starring Black Lantern?

I have no idea how I'm going to fit one of those rings over my crazy three-finger gauntlets...

Full solicits for January are up. Let's have a look see at what we haven't seen yet.

GREEN LANTERN #50
Written by Geoff Johns
Art and cover by Doug Mahnke & Christian Alamy
Variant cover by Jim Lee
Sketch Variant cover by Doug Mahnke
BLACKEST NIGHT spreads with an oversized anniversary issue! Surrounded by friends and enemies, Hal Jordan goes into battle with a being he will never defeat – the Black Lantern Spectre! Can Saint Walker, Sinestro and the others put a stop to this bizarre Spectre rebirth?
Plus, Atrocitus reveals a tie to a power that may make him the most unbeatable of all the Lanterns!
Retailers please note: This issue will ship with three covers. For every 25 copies of the Standard Edition (with a cover by Doug Mahnke & Christian Alamy), retailers may order one copy of the Variant Edition (with a cover by Jim Lee). For every 100 copies of the Standard Edition, retailers may order one copy of the Sketch Variant Edition (with a cover by Doug Mahnke). Please see the Previews Order Form for more information.
On sale January 27 • 40 pg, FC, $3.99 US

So many Blackest Night tie-ins this month! And so many more damn variant covers.

Really, I've come to expect this variant cover crap. But it just seems to get excessive. Does anybody really buy multiple covers of the same comic? I mean, if you really like the cover I can see it. Is there any other good reason? It's not like any of these comics are ever going to be worth anything...

AZRAEL #4
Written by Fabian Nicieza
Art by Ramon Bachs & John Stanisci
Cover by Francesco Mattina
Guest-starring Batman! A murder weapon that could shatter Michael Lane's life. Azrael's sword of justice turned against the woman he loves. A Dark Knight forced to protect a murderer. If the truth is a lie, what do Batman and Azrael do when justice demands a killer go unpunished?
On sale January 20 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

Wow. I'm still on the fence about this new Azrael series, but I'll say this for this issue at least: it's got one of the prettiest covers of the month. Seriously, if you haven't seen it yet you should take a peek. If it's true that covers can sell a comic this one ought to fly off the shelves.

ADVENTURE COMICS #6
Written by Geoff Johns
Art and covers by Francis Manapul
Geoff Johns and Francis Manapul say goodbye (for now) to Superboy with a spectacular 30-page issue! Ever since Superboy returned from the grave, he has been obsessed with Lex Luthor, believing that there must be some good in the master villain somewhere. So for Luthor, it’s time to put up or shut up. With Superman off planet, it’s time to do some good for the planet earth. Superboy is willing to do what it takes to make Lex’s dreams come true, but what Superboy will discover is that one man’s dreams, are another man’s nightmares.
Retailers please note: This issue will ship with two covers. For every 10 copies of the Standard Edition (with a cover by Francis Manapul), retailers may order one copy of the Variant Edition (with a cover by Francis Manapul and renamed and renumbered ADVENTURE COMICS #509). Please see the Previews Order Form for more information.
On sale January 13 • 40 pg, FC, $3.99 US

I like dinosaurs.

And that's all I've got to say. It's been a somewhat rough day for me, so I can't really muster up the strength for much more tonight. Hopefully Az or Doctor P can pick up some of the slack for me tomorrow...