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I promised you a denouement of what I learned from our recent "The Attack of Jean Loring's Brain" week here at the Absorbascon. And so...
#20. The brain has a heart.
And it has pin-lighting. Who knew?
#18. Aquaman does performance art. With octopuses.
Can't you just see all the beatniks and hipsters snapping their fingers as they watch? "Dig that crazy octo-art; go, daddy, go! This was completely worth the trip from Soho!"
#15. Either Captain Comet or Aquaman ...
cannot count.
Just because you're a telepath doesn't mean you're intelligent. "Aquaman! On my mark, count backwards from 20 the divisors of 180...!"
#12. There's no romance in piracy.
Ha! He's obviously never seen Lucas Entertainment's "Cabin Boy Fever"!
#10. The JLA teleporter is ridiculously slow.
Recomposition = decompression.
Three panels of exciting teleporter action?! Jeez, who designed the damned thing, Brad Meltzer?
#9. Aquaman quotes Winston Churchill. To himself, silently, inappropriately, and for no apparent reason.
That why Aquaman is so much cooler than I. I probably would have thought something more like, "Polka-dot pirates with clipboards, what the--?!"
#6. The undersea kingdom of Lemuria has absolutely no zoning laws.
"Welcome to the terrible undersea kingdom of Snowglobia; I am King Kane, and these are my daughters, Princesses Glycerin and Princess Rosebud."
#5. Aquaman has a very strange idea of ...
"subtle".
Huh. Sure looks like a 'frontal assault' to me.
#4. Captain Comet squats to pee.
And in the family room, too!
And last but not least:
#3. The Atom is a total drama queen
Jeez, no wonder he married Jean Loring.
